May 17, 2010

Bucco Fans Classing It Up In 2010

Perhaps it's a bit premature to say this, but this is an accomplishment that you - loyal Pirate fans, loyal readers - should not have to wait another day to begin feeling great about.

An Inglorious History
This first part I say not to criticize, but only to provide perspective. The 2009 Pirates were the worst team I have ever seen at VTBCA. I attended 17 games during which I witnessed Visible Thong And/Or Butt Crack in approximately 141 of 153 innings. That's a Charlie Mortonesque 8.29 VTBCA.

This stat only looks worse when adjusting for era and park effects. For example, as observed by yours truly, the 2002 Indians allowed about a 4.50 VTBCRA. That looks high until you realize that the league as a whole was averaging a VTBCRA north (north is south!) of 6. Yet the rest of the league by 2009 was averaging a VTBCRA under 2.00. VTBC shutouts became the norm in such classy locales as Denver and Phoenix.

Broken down further, leaguewide VTRA was under 1.00 as T increasingly went out of style. Yet the middle half of Pittsburgh was hanging out last year as if it was the middle of the decade.

Even the 2007 UNC-Wilmington Seahawks, with crowds consisting of upwards of 30% mostly naked college girls, only mustered a VTBCRA of 3.75.

8.29, Pittsburgh. Ignominy.

Without further ado, let me reveal the 2010 Pittsburgh Pirates' VTBCRA: Three point fucking two.

I've attended eight games so far. I have seen four of those games, in their entirety, witnessing nary a thong AND nary a butt crack. Four doesn't sound like a lot until you count 'em: One, two, three, four.

Also there has only been one game in which the Pirates allowed a VTBC in every inning. Again, Pretty! Good!

Is this a function of better relief pitching? Bad weather? Pittsburgh women reading in Cosmo that the thong is dead? Who knows, but consider me impressed and consider my butt covered.

3.2! Cincinnati is still over 4. 2010 Pirates, y'all!

This analysis has thus far ignored another triumph...In another great development, I've seen only one "Pregnant Wife Wearing Tights As Pants Accompanying Husband In Lawrence Taylor jersey" at PNC Park since LT's statutory rape charges became public.


Fight on!


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