PITTSBURGH, Pa. / January 5, 2010Due to the recent arrival of my Pittsburgh Pirates Alternate Franchise Cap, size Large, I have become increasingly excited about the Pirates' impending World Fucking Championship.
This offseason's Akinori Iwamura trade gives the Pirates a strong lineup, 1 through 2. On top of that, the Pirates have announced the return of Tyler Yates and the signing of former solid lefthanded reliever, and current crappy lefthanded reliever, Neal Cotts. Should the Pirates get past a strong Manatee Community College squad in the March 2 exhibition, few other teams will stand in the way.
A small but vocal minority of fans has pointed out that the Pirates usually play the first half at a .450 clip, trade their best players, and end up losing close to 100 games. That was before George Thorogood. For those of you who have not memorized the promotional schedule, Mr. Thorogood will perform during the Pirates' August 7 Skyblast.
As arguably the most accomplished three-chord musician in history, George Thorogood will inspire the Pirates. Just as Thorogood is a WDVE staple with only three chords, the Pirates can be World Fucking Champions with three players. It would help if the Pirates also had lyrics as good as "When I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself," but that is why the Yankees will push them to a fifth game in October.
McCutchen, Iwamura, Alvarez.
C, F and G.
World Fucking Champions.
First sentence is the funniest thing I've read in about 5 years.
ReplyDeleteIm jealous of all you sexy size Large hat guys, I'm stuck with my monster size 8. I ravage through hat racks just praying, but it never works, Good Luck finding anything sweet with this bucket ass head I got. Lucky fucker.
ReplyDeleteAll that and you have a great blog too. I will link it to the piss ass one I got. That story you did on Bert is the best out there. Very well done.