Series Preview: San Diego Padres

I am pleased to state that the final home installment of the crapfest Pirates-Brewers rivalry is over. Now the Pirates entertain one of the top teams in the National League, the San Diego Padres.

I can report that San Diego is a border town in southern California, with a lot of military guys and caged animals. Think of San Diego as Grand Forks and Tijuana as East Grand Forks; it's just like that.

San Diego Padres - Friday 7:05, Saturday 7:05, Sunday 1:05
The Padres (55-39) are surprisingly in first place despite an unbelievably awful lineup of Adrian Gonzalez (.294/.390/.528) and no one. Literally, Yorvit Torreabla is their second best hitter. Yet they've ridden a 3.33 team ERA to first place in the hardest division in the league. This is despite having some truly awful fake military looking third jerseys.

Tonight the Padres go with their worst starter Kevin Correia (6-6, 5.22) against Pirates "ace" Paul Maholm (6-7, 4.03). Andrew McCutchen is still out of the lineup; reports are he's coming back Saturday but I really doubt it - he hasn't taken batting practice yet and obviously wasn't even available to pinch hit last night considering he didn't get into the game in a 3-2 loss. How sweet will Maholm's stats look when he improves to 7-7 with a 3.98 ERA. The answer is sickeningly sweet. This would be Maholm's last start as a Pirate if he were getting traded which he isn't. My pick is the Pirates.

Saturday the Pirates give the ball to de facto second starter Jeff Karstens (2-5, 4.84) against the Padres' Mat Latos (10-4, 2.45 and putting up those numbers without the benefit of an extra 't'). Steve Miller Band is playing after the game. Unfortunately for the sellout crowd, all of the good Steve Miller Band songs are actually Eagles songs, so this might be a disappointing Skyblast. However, the Pirates are great in Saturday games post-All Star break. My pick is the Pirates.

Sunday the Pirates go with Brad Lincoln (1-3, 6.29) against Wade LeBlanc (4-8, 3.28). Forget the stats; look at the names. Brad Lincoln sounds like a four year letter winner in every sport at every high school, Class of '51 through '99, every year. Wade LeBlanc is probably the name of that guy Sarah Jessica Parker moved in with in Europe in the worst plot ever in Sex and the City history which is saying a lot because there have really been some bad ones. My pick is the Pirates.