Pirates vs. Pirates

The 2010 Pirates rank 16th in the 16 team National League in run scoring and 15th in run prevention. Thus, it is hurting the Pirate players' performance that they don't get to play the Pirates. Catch 22. Take Albert Pujols and put him on the Pirates, and over his career he would have faced Cardinals pitching in 148 games when he actually faced Pirates pitching. And some of those pitching staffs were worse than this year's.

In this Alternate Pirates Reality, the Pirates exclusively face the Pirates for a full season. Imagine the hated Visiting Pirates team bringing in the lefty Wil Ledezma to pitch to McCutchen! Or the hated Visiting Pirates sending up Andy LaRoche to pinch hit against Joel Hanrahan in the bottom of the ninth! Or the hated Visiting Pirates starting Zach Duke in a baseball game! The possibilities are endless. By the magic of text based baseball simulation, it can happen. Here are the results using the current 25 man roster:

Starting Lineup
CF Andrew McCutchen - .287/.364/.400, 107 R, 9 HR, 68 RBI, 33 SB
LF Jose Tabata - .316/.360/.430, 110 R, 14 HR, 84 RBI, 28 SB
2B Neil Walker - .363/.409/.525, 107 R, 14 HR, 102 RBI, 5 SB
1B Garrett Jones - .296/.354/.544, 107 R, 39 HR, 120 RBI, 6 SB
3B Pedro Alvarez - .246/.324/.444, 71 R, 26 HR, 87 RBI
RF Lastings Milledge - .285/.344/.372, 68 R, 4 HR, 57 RBI, 6 SB
C Chris Snyder - .243/.354/.394, 73 R, 19 HR, 73 RBI
SS Ronny Cedeno - .292/.340/.414, 74 R, 9 HR, 86 RBI, 4 SB

This is a really potent lineup. Neil Walker wins the batting title and is a legitimate MVP candidate, stroking line drive hit after line drive hit off the Pirates' staff. Garrett Jones puts up a big time power season, the likes of which haven't been seen since Brian Giles. Jose Tabata and Andrew McCutchen are each on base enough to score well over 100 runs in front of the Big Two. Strangely, McCutchen actually hits worse against poorer pitching.

Pedro Alvarez shows some pop but overall, struggles in his rookie year and strikes out 196 times. Milledge and Snyder are no better, no worse. The real revelation in the bottom half of the order is Ronny Cedeno who drives in an unbelievable 86 runs while hitting close to .300.

Bench
Delwyn Young - .267/.343/.467, 9 HR, 32 RBI
Andy LaRoche - .212/.301/.246, 1 HR, 17 RBI
Jeff Clement - .190/.227/.321, 3 HR, 11 RBI
Erik Kratz - .128/.227/.128, 0 HR, 3 RBI
Argenis Diaz - .412/.412/.412, 0 HR, 1 RBI

With the strong performance of the starters, our bench is lightly used with only 438 total at bats. Delwyn Young hits pretty well and Argenis Diaz makes good contact, while LaRoche, Clement and Kratz are pretty useless.

Starting Pitchers
Ross Ohlendorf - 17-4, 3.60, 190 IP, 159 H, 75 BB, 160 K
Paul Maholm - 11-11, 4.75, 206 IP, 263 H, 80 BB, 102 K
James McDonald - 8-8, 4.33, 135 IP, 157 H, 52 BB, 156 K
Jeff Karstens - 6-11, 4.77, 162 IP, 184 H, 36 BB, 128 K
Zach Duke - 7-13, 5.83, 173 IP, 240 H, 43 BB, 150 K
Daniel McCutchen - 3-6, 6.63, 90 IP, 103 H, 34 BB, 72 K

Not much changes for most of the rotation, as hittable is hittable. Maholm and Duke do worse against their Pirate teammates than against the league. Ross Ohlendorf is the story here, becoming Bizarro Ohlendorf who simply cannot lose. In a swingman role getting 17 starts and 34 relief appearances, James McDonald gets hit pretty hard but also strikes out 10.4 per nine innings.

Relievers
Joel Hanrahan - 5-5, 1.45, 112 IP, 63 H, 22 BB, 174 K, 15 Saves
Evan Meek - 8-1, 1.01, 125 IP, 71 H, 50 BB, 131 K, 6 Saves
Sean Gallagher - 5-6, 4.65, 81 IP, 79 H, 62 BB, 81 K, 5 Saves
Justin Thomas - 5-6, 5.68, 89 IP, 122 H, 11 BB, 37 K, 8 Saves
Wil Ledezma - 4-5, 6.31, 46 IP, 76 H, 7 BB, 47 K, 3 Saves
Chris Resop - 2-5, 6.41, 59 IP, 78 H, 49 BB, 66 K, 1 Save

The Big Two, Evan Meek and Joel Hanrahan, appear in 75 and 74 games and are completely unhittable. John Russell relies on them heavily using the duo for 237 innings, in which they strike out an unreal 305 combined batters. Sean Gallagher is the only other reliever who is even passable, overcoming poor control for an ERA only slightly below league average.

Of course, the Pirates go only 81-81 vs. the Pirates and the pitching is largely hittable. But the dynamic offense really is a welcome change. Imagine four batters each scoring 100 runs. And Meek's season in particular is one of the best ever for a reliever. What a team, and all it took was some poor competition to let that shine through.